QUOTES ABOUT HEALTH

I think most hiccup cures were invented for the amusement of the
patient's friends. -Hobbes, Calvin & Hobbes

I'm addicted to placebos. I'd give them up, but it wouldn't make any
difference. -Steven Wright

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed
up in the first place!  

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. -Fletcher Knebel 

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Football is a game in which a handful of fit men run around for an
hour and a half watched by millions of people who could really use the

Most cardiologists will tell you it's possible to break your own

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of 
the year. -Franklin P. Adams

Your doctor will tell you that giving up red meat, strong drink,
tobacco, late hours, and the company of those of loose moral
character will mean you'll probably live longer. I don't know if
that's true or not, but I can tell you one thing's for sure: it'll
sure as hell _seem_ longer. -Steve Siegfried

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross country skiing, start with a small

I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, He would have put
diamonds on the floor. -Joan Rivers

A joke a day keeps the doctor away... 

When the doctor says...
"We have some good news and some bad news."
...the good news is he's going to buy that new BMW, and the bad news
is you're going to pay for it.

There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching
their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. - Josh Billings

The poorest man would not part with health for money, but the richest
would gladly part with all his money for health. -C.C. Colton

Health is better than wealth.

He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope has everything. 
-Arabian proverb

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. -Erma Bombeck

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick
society. -Krishnamurti