QUOTES ABOUT COMPUTERS

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to
make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the
other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious
deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
-C. A. R. Hoare

Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

The opinions above are solely those of a 12 year old hacker who has
broken into my account, and not those of my employer or any other

Computer Chip - Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities
while programming.

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the
rest of the week debugging Monday's code. -Dan Salomon

The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland; but
that's because it's the best book on anything for layman.

Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it
is a complete substitute for life. -Andrew Brown

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. 
E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be
used only for company business.
-Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company

Oh my Go , this  amn keyboar   oesn't have any  's!

A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a 
one-way street.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper
tray and the blinking red light.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for
the rest of your life. -Michael Sinz

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times
the memory.

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised)
are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only
curse at are called software. 

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

You know you're a MAC addict when..... you build your house without
Windows or Gates.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they
really hate is lousy programmers. -Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle 

Reference Manual: Object that raises the monitor to eye level.
Also used to compensate for that short table leg.

A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing
a one-way street. -Doug Linder

Welcome to Megacomputer's 24-hour helpline. If you have been waiting
LESS than 24 hours, please remain on the line.

Computer Technical Support Hotline:
"Here are a few possible solutions to your computer problems: go for a
walk, ride a bike, play ball with your kid, talk to your wife, read a
book..." -Randy Glasbergen

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
-Pablo Picasso


Most people live their lives, do their best, and maybe - maybe - get
15 minutes of fame. But they're still there, and in the long run they
really matter... It's the same on the internet. There is a silent
majority of web sites that don't cost much and don't make much money,
or don't care about making money. They provide a great deal of what
makes the web what it is and what it will become. If the media...
ignore that majority, they risk not understanding what's really going
on. -Tim Haight

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -Pablo Picasso

Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.

Linux IS user friendly, it's just selective who its friends are...

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and
bragged about forever.

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a
feature. -Rich Kulawiec

Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to
write, it should be hard to understand.

All computers wait at the same speed.

Why can't life be menu-driven or at least have an 'undo' feature?
-David M. De Felice