COLLECTION OF QUOTES 27 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Stealing an election is as effective as winning it fairly. A smile confuses an approaching frown. I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked, "Do you have any firearms with you?" I said, "What do you need?" -Steven Wright They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona. -Bob Hope/Gene Perret Giraffiti: Concrete art, spray-painted very, very high. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without. Prayers are always answered. Unfortunately, the answer is usually no. Vinylocity: The strange atmospheric force that makes the shower curtain blow towards you while trying to shower. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong. -Sir Winston Churchill Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off. -C. G. Jung We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender. -Sir Winston Churchill One that would have the fruit must climb the tree. -Thomas Fuller Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. -Arthur C. Clarke If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. -Frank Lloyd Wright Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money. -Cree Indian Proverb The tree which moves some to tears of joy is, in the eyes of others, only a green thing which stands in their way. -William Blake Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world. –John Muir If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer. But if he spends his days as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time, he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen. –Henry David Thoreau A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. -Woody Allen Trees are poems that earth writes upon the sky. We fell them and turn them into newspapers that we may record our emptiness. -Kahlil Gibran He who plants a tree plants a hope. –Welsh proverb People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing-that's why we recommend it daily. -Zig Ziglar The best things in life aren't things. -Art Buchwald To know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say. -Rene Descartes If you want to be heard, whisper. In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you. —Warren Buffet Never lose a chance of saying a kind word. -William Makepeace Thackeray What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. -Mother Teresa Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. -Dwight D. Eisenhower As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world ... as in being able to remake ourselves. -Mahatma Gandhi There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. -J.S. Bach When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. Moral: don't blindly adopt what works for someone else without knowing *why* it works. -Rufus Polson No amount of careful planning can ever replace dumb luck. The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think. For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin — real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. -Fr. Alfred D'Souza I think most hiccup cures were invented for the amusement of the patient's friends. -Hobbes, Calvin & Hobbes What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. -Mark Twain We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. -Henry David Thoreau You must become an old man in good time if you wish to be an old man long. Witch, n. (1) An ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil. -Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory. -Franklin P. Adams Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge. -Dilbert, Scott Adams The highest form of wisdom is kindness. -Linda Berman Most dog owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog. I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name. -Paula Poundstone Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph. -Haile Selassie History is a vast early warning system. -Norman Cousins History is Philosophy teaching by examples. -Thucydides History is a child building a sand-castle by the sea, and that child is the whole majesty of man's power in the world. -Heraclitus History goes out of control almost as often as nature does. -Mason Cooley History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. -Dwight D. Eisenhower History and experience tell us that moral progress comes not in comfortable and complacent times, but out of trial and confusion. -Gerald Ford Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price. -Robert Orben I went to a good school where some of our foremost politicians learned their three R's - this is Ours, that is Ours, everything is Ours. It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow. -Robert H. Goddard Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. -Robert Orben Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. -Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. -Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. -A. J. Liebling (1904-1963) People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. -Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855) This book fills a much-needed gap. -Moses Hadas (1900-1966) in a review In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. -Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. -Rene Descartes (1596-1650), Discours de la Methode In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968) Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. -George Burns (1896-1996) A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. -Paul Erdos (1913-1996) Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. -Paul Erdos (1913-1996) The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. -George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. -Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same! Football is a game in which a handful of fit men run around for an hour and a half watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise. A sense of humor is the lubricant of life's machinery. I forget, therefore I was. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Compiled 2004 by Jiri Matejicek, Instant Wisdom. Feel free to copy anything you like. If you decide to redistribute the whole file, please leave this note within -including the URL.