COLLECTION OF QUOTES 23

It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo.
If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be
completely different. -David Brent

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior
teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires. -William Arthur Ward

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses
both. -Dwight D. Eisenhower

Red meat is not bad for you  Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

If you're supposed to live each day as if it was your last, when are
you supposed to do laundry?

Since the coming of television we no longer have family circles--we
have semi-circles.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, symphathetic with the striving, and
tolerant of the weak -- because some day you will have been all of
these. -George W. Carver 

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul. -George Bernard Shaw

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy

On a ski lift in Taos, NM:
"No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."

You know you've achieved perfection in design, not when you have
nothing more to add, but when you have nothing more to take away.
-Antoine de Saint Exupery

If you don't want to feel great about what's going on, you can always
choose to feel great in spite of what's going on. -Ralph Marston

All good things in moderation - including moderation.

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? -George Carlin

A scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and
making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually
die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
-Max Planck

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the
rest of the week debugging Monday's code. -Dan Salomon

The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland; but
that's because it's the best book on anything for layman.

Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it
is a complete substitute for life. -Andrew Brown

As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building
using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday
and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.
-Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp., Redmond, WA.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed
it. -Mark Twain

Many candles can be kindled from one candle without diminishing it.
-The Midrash

A peacock who sits on his tail is just another turkey. 

Common sense is that layer of prejudices which we acquire before we
are sixteen. -Albert Einstein

Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders but mostly
from the neck up. -Knute Rockne 

A roaring lion kills no game. -Ugandan Proverb

Blues is easy to play, but hard to feel. -Jimi Hendrix

Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. 
-Robert Fulghum

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - a Jill a rich widow.
-Evan Esar 

A poet is a man who puts up a ladder to a star and climbs it while
playing a violin. -Edmond de Goncourt

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. 
The great leaders are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the
notes to reach the magic in the players. -Blaine Lee 

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold
well. -Josh Billings

To play safe, I prefer to accept only one type of power: the power of
art over trash, the triumph of magic over the brute. -Vladimir Nabokov

In the game of love, the losers are more celebrated than the winners.
-Mason Cooley

Why is the slowest time of traffic called the 'rush' hour?

Immigrant, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better 
than another. -Ambrose Bierce, The Devilís Dictionary

A lecture is a process where information is passed from the notebook
of the lecturer to the notebook of the student without necessarily
passing through the minds of either. 

The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.
-Ralph W. Sockman

In wilderness I sense the miracle of life, and behind it our
scientific accomplishments fade to trivia. -Charles Lindbergh 

Donít ask for it to be easy, ask for it to be worth it. -Dan Kuschell

If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

Yesterday I knew nothing. Today, I know that.

Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some
of it for tomorrow. 

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is
because we are not the person involved. -Mark Twain 

We don't swim in your urinals. Please don't pee in our pool. 

Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying.
-Christian Furchtegott Gellert

Failure to prepare is preparing to fail. -Ben Franklin

Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry 
someone that you cannot live without.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by
candlelight. -George Gobol 

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. 

I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too.

The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.

Light travels faster than sound. 
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand
binary arithmetic and those who don't.

Q: Why there are so many people named Smith in the phone book?
A: They all have phones. 

E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be
used only for company business.
-Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he
has to eat them. 

Confession without repentance is just bragging. - Rev. Eugene Bolton 

A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool.

Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster!

Dime: A dollar with all of the taxes taken out.

Education is going to college to learn to express your ignorance in 
scientific terms.

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than
you have car windows. -Erma Bombeck

Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare. -Harriet Martineau

The best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater
than your need for each other. 

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

An eternity is very, very long, especially towards the end. 

Truth is not determined by majority vote. -Doug Gwyn

Bumper Stickers... If I'm So Slow, How come I'm Ahead of You? 

If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself
knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can
get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.
-Thomas J. Watson 

Always aim for achievement, and forget about success. -Helen Hayes

If u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb!

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the
people are right more than half the time. -E. B. White

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. -Friedrich Engels

Oh my Go , this  amn keyboar   oesn't have any  's!

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national
emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. -Ronald Reagan

Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

It's better to lose a lover then love a loser.

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness.
-Dave Barry

Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance
it. -Santayana

When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and
copy it. -Anatole France

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get
you into hot water. -Franklin P. Jones

I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have,
beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser
than oneself. -Marlene Dietrich

The obvious is that which is never seen until someone expresses it
simply. -Kahlil Gibran

Most anthologists of quotations are like those who eat cherries or
oysters: first picking the best ones and winding up by eating
everything. -Sebastien Roch Nicolas Chamfort

An aphorism is never exactly true. It is either a half-truth or a
truth and a half. -Karl Kraus

Airlines almost never lose carry-on luggage.

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few
weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge
of the pool and throw them fish.

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them.  - E.V. Lucas

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first
thought of. -Burt Bacharach 


Compiled 2002 by Jiri Matejicek, Instant Wisdom.
Feel free to copy anything you like. If you decide to redistribute the
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