COLLECTION OF QUOTES 23 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo. If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different. -David Brent The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires. -William Arthur Ward A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. -Dwight D. Eisenhower Red meat is not bad for you Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. If you're supposed to live each day as if it was your last, when are you supposed to do laundry? Since the coming of television we no longer have family circles--we have semi-circles. How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, symphathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak -- because some day you will have been all of these. -George W. Carver A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -George Bernard Shaw What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. On a ski lift in Taos, NM: "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted." You know you've achieved perfection in design, not when you have nothing more to add, but when you have nothing more to take away. -Antoine de Saint Exupery If you don't want to feel great about what's going on, you can always choose to feel great in spite of what's going on. -Ralph Marston All good things in moderation - including moderation. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? -George Carlin A scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it. -Max Planck Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code. -Dan Salomon The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland; but that's because it's the best book on anything for layman. Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. -Andrew Brown As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. -Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp., Redmond, WA. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. -Mark Twain Many candles can be kindled from one candle without diminishing it. -The Midrash A peacock who sits on his tail is just another turkey. Common sense is that layer of prejudices which we acquire before we are sixteen. -Albert Einstein Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders but mostly from the neck up. -Knute Rockne A roaring lion kills no game. -Ugandan Proverb Blues is easy to play, but hard to feel. -Jimi Hendrix Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. -Robert Fulghum All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - a Jill a rich widow. -Evan Esar A poet is a man who puts up a ladder to a star and climbs it while playing a violin. -Edmond de Goncourt All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. The great leaders are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players. -Blaine Lee Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. -Josh Billings To play safe, I prefer to accept only one type of power: the power of art over trash, the triumph of magic over the brute. -Vladimir Nabokov In the game of love, the losers are more celebrated than the winners. -Mason Cooley Why is the slowest time of traffic called the 'rush' hour? Immigrant, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another. -Ambrose Bierce, The Devilís Dictionary A lecture is a process where information is passed from the notebook of the lecturer to the notebook of the student without necessarily passing through the minds of either. The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder. -Ralph W. Sockman In wilderness I sense the miracle of life, and behind it our scientific accomplishments fade to trivia. -Charles Lindbergh Donít ask for it to be easy, ask for it to be worth it. -Dan Kuschell If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit. Yesterday I knew nothing. Today, I know that. Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours. Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow. Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved. -Mark Twain We don't swim in your urinals. Please don't pee in our pool. Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying. -Christian Furchtegott Gellert Failure to prepare is preparing to fail. -Ben Franklin Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. -George Gobol Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary arithmetic and those who don't. Q: Why there are so many people named Smith in the phone book? A: They all have phones. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. -Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them. Confession without repentance is just bragging. - Rev. Eugene Bolton A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. -Confucius Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool. Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster! Dime: A dollar with all of the taxes taken out. Education is going to college to learn to express your ignorance in scientific terms. It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. -Erma Bombeck Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare. -Harriet Martineau The best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children. An eternity is very, very long, especially towards the end. Truth is not determined by majority vote. -Doug Gwyn Bumper Stickers... If I'm So Slow, How come I'm Ahead of You? If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. -Thomas J. Watson Always aim for achievement, and forget about success. -Helen Hayes If u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb! Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. -E. B. White An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. -Friedrich Engels Oh my Go , this amn keyboar oesn't have any 's! I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. -Ronald Reagan Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown. It's better to lose a lover then love a loser. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness. -Dave Barry Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it. -Santayana When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. -Anatole France It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. -Franklin P. Jones I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself. -Marlene Dietrich The obvious is that which is never seen until someone expresses it simply. -Kahlil Gibran Most anthologists of quotations are like those who eat cherries or oysters: first picking the best ones and winding up by eating everything. -Sebastien Roch Nicolas Chamfort An aphorism is never exactly true. It is either a half-truth or a truth and a half. -Karl Kraus Airlines almost never lose carry-on luggage. Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. - E.V. Lucas A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. -Burt Bacharach ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Compiled 2002 by Jiri Matejicek, Instant Wisdom. Feel free to copy anything you like. If you decide to redistribute the whole file, please leave this note within - including the URL.