INSTANT WISDOM

                       COLLECTION OF QUOTES 19
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The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-Milton Friedman

I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to
see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.
-Abraham Lincoln

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. -Audrey Hepburn

It is better to be on the ground wishing you were flying, than vice
versa.

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Don't be afraid to ask dumb questions. They're more easily handled
than dumb mistakes. -William Wister Hanes

I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by
looking up something and finding something else on the way.
-Franklin P. Adams

No matter how much it itches, never scratch your nose while being
finger-printed.

The President of the United States hears a hundred voices telling him
that he is the greatest man in the world. He must listen carefully to
hear the one voice that tells him he's not. -Harry S. Truman

Dreams do not vanish, so long as people do not abandon them.
-Phantom F. Harlock

Good intentions will always be pleaded for any assumption of power.
The Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of
good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well,
but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they
mean to be masters. -Daniel Webster

I was watching the Indy 500 and I'm thinking - if they left earlier
they wouldn't have to go so fast. -Steven Wright

Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess. -Edna Woolman Chase 

The trouble with learning from experience is that the test comes
first and the lesson afterwards.

Only a pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity
knocks.

It is generally agreed that 'Hello' is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of
people. -Dolph Sharp 

Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: 
"Of all the radio stations in Chicago... we're one of them." 

Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since
you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. -Thomas A. Kempis

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. -Henry Ford

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!

Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over
everything, except over technology. -John Tudor

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised)
are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only
curse at are called software. 

Is it progress if a cannibal uses knife and fork? —Stanislaw Lec 

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. 
-B. F. Skinner

A beaver does not, as legend would have it, know which direction the
tree will fall when he cuts it, but counts on alacrity to make up for
lack of engineering expertise. -Ann Zwinger 

All the tools and engines on earth are only extensions of man's limbs
and senses. -Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Technology is a servant who makes so much noise cleaning up in the
next room that his master cannot make music. -Karl Kraus

The clock, not the steam engine, is the key machine of the modern
industrial age. -Lewis Mumford

Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one
hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. -C. P. Snow 

Technology is not in itself opposed to spirituality and to religion.
But it presents a great temptation. -Thomas Merton 

Technology made large populations possible; large populations now make
technology indispensable. -Joseph Wood Krutch 

To believe all men honest would be folly. To believe none so is
something worse. -John Quincy Adams

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. -Truman Capote

The Law of Common Sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist.

The Law of Self Sacrifice: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger
starves last.

Pride, like humility, is destroyed by one's insistence that he
possesses it. -Kenneth Bancroft Clark

Education is what you get from reading the small print; experience is
what you get from not reading it.

The future belongs to those who see the possibilities before they
become obvious. -Theodore Levitt

Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears.
Sometimes when you are happy, no one sees your smile.
But fart just one time...

When a diplomat says `yes' he means perhaps; when he says `perhaps' he
means no; when he says `no' he is no diplomat.

Government is too big and important to be left to the politicians.
-Chester Bowles

Live as though it were your last day on earth. Some day you will be
right. -Robert Anthony

No matter what side of an argument you're on, you always find some
people on your side that you wish were on the other side.
-Jascha Heifetz 

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects
you from age. -Jeanne Moreau

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times
the memory.

The Meek shall inherit the earth.... after we're through with it.

Ham and eggs - a day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for
a pig.

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
was God, and I didn't.

The most beautiful sunsets are made by cloudy skies.

Sometimes the squeaky wheel doesn't get the grease, it just gets
replaced.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's
safer to pick on rich women than biker gangs.

Confidence: the feeling a person has before he fully understands the
situation.

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends
will leave footprints in your heart. -Eleanor Roosevelt

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. -Al Gore

You can't change the score of the game by yelling at the other team.

To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.

The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it. 

Ever notice that people never say "It's only a game" when they're
winning? -Ivern Ball 

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you
work at it, it's golf. -Bob Hope

Golf is not a matter of life and death. It's far more serious than
that.

After the game the King and pawn go into the same box.
-Italian Proverb

Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward. They may be beaten, but
they may start a winning game. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

How can I prove I'm not crazy to people who are?

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -
they will find an easier way to do it.

The past is the past, but the future is forever. -Adam Quote

Life is like a block of cheese, its only good for a couple of days.
-Adam Quote

I'm not a fatalist. But even if I were, what could I do about it?
-Emo Philips

So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies,
private citizens will occasionally kill theirs. -Elbert Hubbard

We're having creative differences. I'm creative, you're different.

A man spends the first half of his life learning habits that shorten
the second half of his life.

A timid person is frightened before a danger; a coward during the
time; and a courageous person afterward. -Jean Paul Richter 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being
governed by those who are dumber.

The food that you get in art museums is institutional revenge for
the art that you get in restaurants.

Wisdom is made of two parts: 1) having a lot to say and 2) not
saying it.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an
exception. -Groucho Marx

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with
chocolate. -Charles Dickens

The minute you start talking about what you're going to do if you
lose, you have lost. -George Shultz

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I
realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked
Him to forgive me. -Emo Philips

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch
what they do. -Andrew Carnegie

The press, like fire, is an excellent servant, but a terrible master.
-James Fenimore Cooper 

"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make,
who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"
-Stephen Levine

Even at Sam's Club, people will still look at you funny if you buy the
144-roll pallet of toilet paper.

There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy
everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go.
-Frederick Faber

Rules are the means of a girl's assessing which man she likes well
enough to break them for.

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you
up depends upon what you're made of.

Old jazz fans never die they just turn to soul.

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a
thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right
or doing it better. -John Updike

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
-Chinese Proverb

When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

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Compiled 2001 by Jiri Matejicek, Instant Wisdom.
Feel free to copy anything you like. If you decide to redistribute the
whole file, please leave this note within - including the URL.

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