INSTANT WISDOM

                       COLLECTION OF QUOTES 16
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Poets utter great and wise things which they do not themselves
understand. -Plato

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more
deadly in the long run. -Mark Twain

An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but
because people refuse to see it. -James Michener

If you love him, let him go. If he returns, he was always yours. If he 
doesn't, he never was.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive
it. -Karl Menninger

The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.

Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn
to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
-Mary Ellen Kelly

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to
see an imperfect person perfectly.

If you don't like someone, the way he holds his spoon will make you
furious; if you do like him, he can turn his plate over into your lap
and you won't mind. -Irving Becker

Time flies... after you hit the snooze button.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around
the sun.

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar. I cherish
the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

Never argue with an idiot; bystanders can't tell the difference.

Love measures a heart, never by its mistakes, but always by its
intentions. -Anne Calodich Fone

God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.
-James M. Barrie

The only honest measure of your success is what you are doing compared
to your true potential. -Paul J. Meyer

The owl, although a night creature, still relies on light for its
vision.

There is just enough room in the world for all the people in it, but
there is no room for the fences which separate them. -Father Taylor

A joke a day keeps the doctor away... 

Asking a stupid question is better than repairing a stupid mistake.

As for the future of education, I'm an optymyst. -Jiri Matejicek

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back
to you when you've forgotten the words.

Champagne for my true friends and true pain for my sham friends!

My son has taken up meditation - at least it's better than sitting
doing nothing. -Max Kauffmann

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every
effort to teach them good manners.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman's ultimate fantasy is
to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent
sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in
this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

When your wife asks, "Do I look fat?"
The correct response is, "Do I look stupid?"

Men do not desire to be rich, but to be richer than other men.
-John Stuart Mill

I always say that beauty is only sin deep. -H. H. Munro

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell
more than he knows. -Dwight D. Eisenhower

A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the
head and the heating system of the heart.

Do not be in a hurry to tie what you cannot untie. -English Proverb

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only
you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other
people spend it for you. -Carl Sandburg

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and 
then to make sure it's still there. -Will Rogers

All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by
the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the
shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be the blade that was broken, the
crownless again shall be king. -J.R.R. Tolkien

Share your smile with everyone, but save your kiss for only one.

Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. 
-Hyman Judah Schachtel

Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one;
enemy to none. -Benjamin Franklin

One thing you will probably remember well is anytime you forgive and
forget. -Franklin P. Jones

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people
worry than work. -Robert Frost

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist
fears that this is true.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator; I never got around to it.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

The word 'politics' is used to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in
Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you will end up with selfish,
ignorant leaders. Garbage in, garbage out! -George Carlin

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to
get its pants on. -Winston Churchill

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
-Napoleon Bonaparte

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-Thomas Alva Edison

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's
troublesome. -Isaac Asimov 

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
-Ambrose Bierce

There's nothing wrong with making mistakes; just don't respond with
encores.

Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure.
-Edward Eggleston 

If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of others.

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all
the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the
way his mother cooked.

Family is not determined by blood, but by true friendship.

There are three ways to get things done:
1) do it yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do it 

Politicians are those who deal with the problems which would not exist
if they didn't exist.

When I was young I was told that anyone could be President. I'm
beginning to believe it.

Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
-Edward R. Murrow

I should like to see these profound words inscribed on the threshold
of all the temples of science: 'The greatest derangement of the mind
is to believe in something because one wishes it to be so.
-Louis Pasteur

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a baldman?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what
does a freedom fighter fight?

If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

Love people and use things - do not love things and use people.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Fear can be useful to warn us of
impending danger. Courage is the willingness to move forward in spite
of being afraid. -N. Patricia Briggs O'Dell

Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without
freedom to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt.
-Bergen Evans

Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
-Bertolt Brecht

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? A
common enemy... -Sam Levenson

Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know
who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, just hang
up.

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-Mark Twain

Daring ideas are like chessmen. Moved forward, they may be beaten, but
they may start a winning game. -Goethe

That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they
really hate is lousy programmers. -Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle 

No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Asshole, n. The most commonly employed word in American English.
Frequently used by both sides in an argument, more often than
not, accurately. -Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Love is a painful journey, but where it leads you may be eternal
bliss.

Never turn down the opportunity to read a book, they're just movies
for smart people.

For success, take the t out of can't.

Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can fly.

The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.
-Lin Yutang

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said 'I don't know.'
-Mark Twain

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Compiled 2000-2001 by Jiri Matejicek, Instant Wisdom.
Feel free to copy anything you like. If you decide to redistribute the
whole file, please leave this note within - including the URL.

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