The following are actual medical records [supposedly] taken   
from patients' actual medical charts.   

* The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed   
to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.   

* Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.   

* Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.   

* She stated that she had been constipated for most of her   
life until 1989 when she got a divorce.   

* The patient was in his usual state of good health until his   
airplane ran out of gas and crashed.   

* I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for   
physical therapy.   

* The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet   
turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a   
week.   

* Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the   
way to Los Angeles.   

* She is numb from her toes down.   

* While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and   
sent home.   

* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.   

* The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took   
a job as a stockbroker instead.   

* Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.   

* Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with   
his family in no distress.   

* Patient was alert and unresponsive.   

* When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.