Laws of Life:   

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to   
pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as   
an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.   

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important   
you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or   
absence is noticed.   

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to   
increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect   
on your take-home pay.   

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything   
except what happens.   

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you   
always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing some-   
thing else.   

* Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only   
cross-references.   

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on   
the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the   
grocery bag.   

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you   
will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet   
the boss in the parking lot.