INSTANT WISDOM > HUMOR > 2005
The Rules of Chocolate.....   

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're   
eating it too slowly.   

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices &   
strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.   

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the   
store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.   

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take   
the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.   

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake   
of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?   

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the   
freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's   
wrong with you?   

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the   
fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out   
of the chocolate to protect themselves.   

Money talks. Chocolate sings.   

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look   
younger.   

Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?   
Because no one wants to quit.   

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do   
today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.   

Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao   
beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar   
beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream   
is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary   
requirements for daily vegetable intake.   

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