The way children see things   

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm   
summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood   
up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the   
shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom!   
That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"   

HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to   
tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished   
it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking   
for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my   
toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile,   
"We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the   
toilet a few days ago."   

OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his   
teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions   
expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his   
parents."   

KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out   
of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her   
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister,   
Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added , "Mommy   
can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting   
the bottle."   

MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself   
in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst   
into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.   
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the   
matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"   

ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches   
to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on   
my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age,   
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly   
intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false   
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable   
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The   
tooth fairy will never believe this!"   

DRESS- UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a   
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,   
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?"   
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."   

DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,   
our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his   
collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates   
had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be   
performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then   
dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The   
minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayer s and   
with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought   
his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto   
the Sonnn ... and into the hole he gooooes."   

SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school.   
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't   
read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"   

BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was   
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly,   
something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and   
looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed   
in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called   
out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the   
young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"