Performance Appraisals Revisited   

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ......= Able to bullshit   
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS ......= Spends lots of time on phone   
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE ...............= Not too bright   
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED ...= Made no major blunders yet   
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY .........= Too ugly to get a date   
ACTIVE SOCIALLY ................= Drinks a lot   
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY ......= Spouse drinks, too   
INDEPENDENT WORKER .............= Nobody knows what he/she does   
QUICK THINKING .................= Offers plausible excuses   
CAREFUL THINKER ................= Won't make a decision   
AGGRESSIVE .....................= Obnoxious   
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS ...= Gets someone else to do it   
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ......= Speaks English   
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL .= A nit picker   
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES .......= Is tall or has a loud voice   
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ...= Lucky   
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR ...........= Knows a lot of dirty jokes   
CAREER MINDED ..................= Back Stabber   
LOYAL ..........................= Can't get a job anywhere else