INSTANT WISDOM > HUMOR > 2005
Accident Report.   

I am writing in response to your request for additional   
information. In block number three of the accident reporting   
form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You   
said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust   
that the following details are sufficient:   

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I   
was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building.   
When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500   
pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks   
down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using   
a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the   
building at the sixth floor.   

Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the   
roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.   
Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding   
it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of   
bricks. You will note in block number 11 of the accident   
reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.  Due to my surprise   
at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my   
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless   
to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of   
the building.   

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming   
down. This explains the fractured scull and broken collar-   
bone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent,   
not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two   
knuckles deep into the pulley.  Fortunately, by this time   
I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold   
tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.   

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of   
bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the   
barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now   
weighed approximately 50 pounds.  I refer you again to my   
weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a   
rapid descent down the side of the building.   

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming   
up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and lacerations   
of my legs and lower body.  The encounter with the barrel,   
slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the   
pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were   
cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there   
on the bricks in pain, unable to move, and watching the barrel   
six stories above - I again lost my presence of mind.   

I let go of the rope!

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