The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition. Here are this year's (2003) winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near
future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half
a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
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