08/17/04

EXPRESSIONS SYNONYMOUS WITH THE 90'S

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on
everything and then leaves.

Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee
headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.

Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators
running.

Mouse Potato: The online wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one often
stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single Income, Two
Children, Oppressive Mortgage."

Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.

Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with
no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.

Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were
just tourists."

Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material, such
as books.

Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.

Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it.
Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees
who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.

Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."

Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Chips and Salsa: Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we
gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."

Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to
leave a company or department soon.

GOOD Job: A "Get Out Of Debt" job. A well paying job people take in 
order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they 
are solvent again.

Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but
you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
prime example.

Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice
president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of
an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the 
operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.

Yuppie Food Stamps: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We
all owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."