01/04/01

Amazing True Stories of Dumb People

Dumb at the Mall
'I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card
was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to
compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to
the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they
matched.'

Dumb at the Mechanic
'When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied,
"I know - I already got that side.'

Dumb at the Airport
'I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Dumb around Town
'The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged coworker of mine
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"