03/06/01

Only in AMERICA.........

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
won't cross the street to vote in a national election.

We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in
the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last
dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years
to pay off.

We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a
car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.

We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and
National Leagues but mumble through half the words in the "Star
Spangled Banner".

We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live
longer, then drive 80 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for
lost time.

We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.

We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town....where we can
make more money so we can move back to the farm.

We get upset we're spending over a billion dollars for education, but
spend three billion dollars a year for liquor and beer.

In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when
we're out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about
business.

We're supposed to be the most civilized nation on earth, but we still
deliver payrolls in armored cars.

We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world
....and more divorces.

We applaud our free press even when they convict innocent people in print.

Our laws are like a spider's web, designed to catch the common
fly...but seldom holds the hornet...

Only in America.