10/23/00

SUPPOSEDELY *ACTUAL* LETTERS SENT TO LANDLORDS...

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children
until it is cleared."

"I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired
and burnt my knob off."

"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from
the man next door."

"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away
from the wall."

"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the
kitchen."

"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces."

"Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."

"Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and
would like a third, so will you please send someone to do
something about it."

"Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My
wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable
for us."