1/17/99

THE SECRET'S OUT! 

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have 
a problem!" 
"What's the problem, Eve?" 
"Lord, I know you created me and have provided this beautiful 
garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy
snake, but I'm just not fulfilled." 
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. 
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." 
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man 
for you." 
"What's a 'man', Lord?" 
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an 
enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly.
All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster
and more muscular than you. He'll be good at fighting, kicking a ball
about and hunting fleet-footed varments, and not altogether a bad
lover." 
"Sounds great," says Eve, with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. 
"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But
you can have him on one condition." 
"What's that, Lord?" 
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."