INSTANT WISDOM > HUMOR > 1998
3/6/98

A little old lady walked into the main branch of the Chase Manhattan
Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at
the window that she wished to take the 3 million dollars that she had
in the bag and open an account with the bank. But first, she said that
she wished to meet the president of the bank due to the rather large
amount involved. After looking into the bag and seeing bundles of
$1,000 dollar bills which could have amounted to $3 million, he called
the president's office and saw to it that the old lady met with him.
The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's office.
Introductions were made and she stated that she liked to know the
people that she did business with on a more personal level. The
president then asked her how she came into such a large amount of
money. "Was it an inheritance?" he asked. "No," she replied. He was
quiet for a minute trying to think where she could have come into $3
million. "I bet," she stated. "You bet!" repeated the president. "As in
horses?" "No," she replied. "I bet on people." Seeing his confusion,
she explained that she just bets different things with people. All of a
sudden she said, "I'll bet you $25,000.00 that by 10:00 am tomorrow
morning your balls will be square." The bank president figured that she
must be off her rocker and decided to take her up on the bet. He didn't
see how he could loose. For the rest of the day he was very careful. He
decided to stay home that evening and take no chances; there was
$25,000.00 at stake. When he got up in the morning and took his shower,
he checked to make sure that everything was okay. There was no
difference; he looked the same as he always had. He went to work and
waited for the little old lady to come in at 10:00, humming as he went.
He knew that this would be a good day. How often do you get handed
$25,000.00 for doing nothing? At 10:00 am sharp, the little old lady
was escorted into his office. With her was a younger man. When the
president inquired as to the purpose of his being there, she informed
him that he was her lawyer, and that she always took him along when
there was a large amount of money involved. "Well," she asked, "what
about our bet?" "I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "but
I'm the same as I have always been, only $25,000.00 richer!" The lady
seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see for
herself. The president thought that this was reasonable and dropped his
trousers. She instructed him to bend over, then she grabbed ahold of
him. Sure enough everything was fine. The president then looked up and
saw her lawyer banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong with
him?" the president asked. "Oh him," she replied, "I bet him
$100,000.00 that by 10:00 this morning that I would have the president
of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls."

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